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Touhou Nekokayou #145: Fairy Wars Episode 1: The Menaced Phantom


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Touhou Nekokayou: Scarlet Weather Archive in Japanese Red #145

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Characters: Cirno, Marisa Kirisame, A Nameless Fairy, Lily White, Luna Child

So, I've started my Great Fairy War parody. Rawr, dreaded continuity. I'm also apparently making it a Star Wars parody, entirely because of the name "Fairy Wars." No idea how far that part'll go. Probably nowhere. I mean, apart from those little references here and there, like Marisa being Darth Vader and the Death Star (more on this when we reach the Extra Stage). Definitely only going to do that Star Wars opening thing once. Regardless, after the previous disasters, I'm also going to deliberately aim for shorter and sillier stuff in this particular story-arc, and I will not derail the adaptation of the main events of the game with srs bsns regarding my OCs.1

I'm going for route A-1 here, more or less. Luna is officially more or less "the dumb one," so I thought it was appropriate to start with her.

Another part of this story arc is experimenting I'm doing is to see if I can make a story centered on Cirno without either using the phrase "I'm the strongest" or making a big deal out of the number 9. Instead, I'll constantly reference the number 17.


  1. Blue Text: A couple of years ago in an eastern wonderland far, far away ...
    Blue Text: I mean ... y'know, unless you're IN Japan, or ... You know what I mean.
    (Fairy Wars logo, in the style of Star Wars)
    Opening Crawl: It is a dull time for Gensokyo. The last incident was more than three weeks ago, and anyway, it had nothing to do with fairies.
    Opening Crawl: But not is all well. The THREE FAIRIES OF LIGHT have decided to assert their dominance over human and youkai alike, whenever they can be bothered and they can remember that they were supposed to be doing this. In the process, they have earned the ire of the ice fairy Cirno, by accidentally knocking down an igloo she made.
    Opening Crawl: And so, armed with her ice sword and her newfound ability to freeze danmaku bullets, Cirno sets forth to prove to them, to herself, and to the world at large, that among all of Gensokyo's inhabitants, she is THE STRONGEST...
    Smaller Text: I have no idea how far I'll be able to take this Star Wars thing, b'duh.
    (The blackness of space fades to a blue sky, above a treeline.)
  2. (Cirno (with the older version of her wings) flies through the woods in annoyance.)
    Cirno: Stupid three fairies knocking my house down! I'll show them!! I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!!!
  3. (She comes across Marisa menacing a fairy with a blue ribbon in her hair; Cirno gets a "?" over her head.)
    Marisa: Where are those transmissions you intercepted!?
    Fairy: W-what!?
    Marisa: Uh, I mean, the letter I was sendin' to Alice.
  4. (Marisa leans in more menacingly. Cirno just heads out along the path she'd originally been taking.)
    Fairy: W-why do you think *I* did something with it!?
    Marisa: Well, it had a trackin'-spell amulet, which yer *wearin'* in yer hair now ...
    Cirno's Thoughts: ... Yeah, not even *I'm* that stupid.
  5. Narration Box: So Cirno makes her way to a different part of the forest.
    (Another part of the forest; Cirno encounters Lily White in a maid uniform, and promptly gets aggressive.)
    Cirno: Aha! Lily! I know you're now a mid-boss of those three --
    Lily White: Ah, sorry, Chilly, I have to go to my new job at the scarlet devil mansion ...
  6. (Cirno watches Lily go; Luna Child comes up behind Cirno's new position.)
    Cirno: Bah! Then why're you even showing up here!?
    Lily White: (backing away) Uh, I probably shouldn't say this, but it's cuz I'm sposta be here at this point in the game!
    Luna Child: (a bit annoyed) Hey!
  7. (Cirno turns to face Luna, as Lily leaves the screen.)
    Cirno: THERE YOU ARE! I declare war on you and both of those other two!
    Luna Child: (surprised) A challenge, huh? You're being kinda noisy ...
    Cirno: Well I'll never forgive you for knocking my house down!
  8. (They square off against each other. Lily backs into the panel, away from a green glow.)
    Luna Child: Well, fine! It's too bad you're not Reimu!
    Cirno: Bah! I can be 17 times scarier than any shrine maiden! Who the hell do you think I am!?
    Lily White: Um ... g-guys ...
  9. (The entire screen is engulfed by a green blast of light, causing an explosion to the right.)
    Spell Card: Star Sign 「Non-Directional Superlaser」

1As an aside, my intention is that in Create.swf Adventures #2, the focus will be entirely on Sacchin, Carroll, and Kon.

All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.

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SOMEONE clearly hasn't played enough EoSD, PCB or IN.


Any clue who's on what teams in muffinverse?
Team (9)
Cirno, Daiyousei, Chen, Wriggle, Mystia, Tewi?
Team (8)
Yuuka, Nue, EX_Rumia, Mima
Team baba
Yukari, Kanako, Erin, Yuyuko, Hijiri?, Mima?, Yuuka?, Shinki?
4 Devas
Suika, Yuugi, Kasen?, Kongara?
red/white harem
Aya, Yukari, Suika, Sanae, Marisa, Remilia
black/white harem
Alice, Patchuli, Nitori, Reimu, pretty much everyone in gensenkyo?

any others out there?


@DiMastine: Anything below team 8 is nonexistant, I don't remember well about team 9 but I think Tewi and Chen are not part of it. Marisa and Alice are a couple and Reimu was going out with Sanae until Muffin got tired of it and we never saw those two together again, so no harem for you.


the 4 devas are a canon team. we just dont know who was on it besides Suika and Yuugi


Eletale doesn't really know what he's talking about that well.

Team (9) is an entirely fanon creation (though it is canon in Nekokayou, though probably disbanded now)
Team (8) is a Nekokayou creation.
"team baba" is basically the older of the Touhou characters - the idea comes from the fact that some of the characters have "ya" somewhere in their names

4 Devas = canon, and both confirmed members have a spellcard reflecting the fact they're part of it. People assume Kasen's part of it due to being one of the characters likely to be an oni (she has a shackle on her left arm like Suika and Yuugi, and her title mentions horns.) There is also theories that Konngara is an oni because she also has a horn and apparently has a sake dish while fighting (Meaning the theories here started with the SA demo, basically.) Of course, that horn is subject to some debate because of the blood around it.

the harems are entirely fanon. Pairings for Reimu and Marisa respectively.


Rumia prime is also lumped in with team (9) but wasnt sure if she should be added into the list as her EX_form seems to be more prominent lately.

Yasora might be a local candidate for team baba as well.

Just wanted to see what other readers and muffin had for thoughts



Any clue who's on what teams in muffinverse?

Nice of you for telling us what is what in canon and fanom, but in muffinverse only team 8 and team 9 are mentioned as far as I can remember. You might argue about the Devas, but I just don't see them working as a team yet.


I both love and hate you for the Star Wars parody/pun and the pain it caused me.


I both love and hate you for the pain that the Star Wars parody/pun caused me.

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