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Touhou Nekokayou #94: Touhou Saisoutensoku #1: Wildest Dreams

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Touhou Nekokayou: Scarlet Weather Archive in Japanese Red #94

Touhou Nekokayou: Scarlet Weather Archive in Japanese Red #94a

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Characters: Cirno, Hong Meiling, Patchouli Knowledge, Unnamed Giant Catfish, Koakuma, Sakuya Izayoi, Kaguya Houraisan, Fujiwara no Mokou, Mugetsu, Gengetsu, Flandre Scarlet

Ladies and gentlechen, allow me to present Touhou 12.3i: Rethinking the Natural Law (東方再想天則, romanized Touhou Saisoutensoku),1 which is Touhou 12.3 as it takes place in the Touhou Nekokayou universe. This is gonna be a reasonably ambitious storyline, inasmuch as I need to fit the entirety of a game's storyline, plus all my own modifications, into just seven comics! Why seven? Because that's how long it'll take to get to comic #100. Or maybe I could just make #100 a major turning-point in the story. Mweeheeheehee, I've got plans~! I, um, probably ought to be a bit more careful with this, though, the distance between this and the end of Catness is less than the entire length of Catness.

The longest part was making the logo. The hardest part of that was either getting the logo to look like Touhou 12.3's kinda wacky logo or getting Cirno into place there, but I seem to have gotten it right. And now I won't have to make it again!

So, yeah, everything from the third to the ninth panels is basically the beginning of Meiling's Touhou 12.3 story-mode ... um, even though she's already muttering about it in Cirno and Sanae's storymodes. Meiling also doesn't fight either of them in her story mode, I guess they beat her. In any event, I couldn't resist some Painting The Fourth Wall (Warning, link leads to TVTropes. Muffin will not be held responsible for hours of time lost as a result of following it.But see also this disclaimer) in panel 5 there, using the old version of Meiling so she'd be as sketchy as the background.

In my little list of different character-sizes, characters are at 60% scale unless otherwise specified. Cirno is the only character whose scale is 42%; as it says in my notes, she's in a class by herself, because nobody wanted to share it with her. And Mokou is already Muffin-canonically shorter than Kaguya, though Kaguya's skirt and Mokou's pants in create.swf sort of make Kaguya seem even taller ...

I could not have resisted the catfish's pun in panel 12 for a million bucks. (And the "ATATATATATATATA" thing is from Fist of the North Star.)

Originally, Sakuya and Meiling's vengeance for attempted catfish-brainhax was going to be the basis for a prose-story titled "Sakuya and Meiling in: Lotus Land Story Extra," but when I realized I was gonna make this whole storyline, I figured, hey, while I'm here ...

In any event, for those of you just tuning in, I have also set forth Touhou 12i: Redefined Fantastic Object. This takes place after that, though, obviously. Come the new year, I shall commence comics which resolutely take place after this! Maybe even in a definite chronological order!


  1. (Cirno is flying away from a mildly-battered Meiling in front of the SDM's gate.)
    Meiling: Oof ... that's probably one of the weirdest losses I've taken in a while ...
    SFX: I mean, *that* ice-fairy!?
  2. (Meiling turns towards where Cirno's flown off.)
    Meiling: Now just what was she babbling about, anyw--
  3. (She sees a giant shadowy shape looming over the treeline.)
  4. (Meiling stares at it in shock.)
  5. (Closeup of a sketchy Meiling, recoiling in horror, against a sketchy dark background.)
  6. (In the Library, Patchouli is examining Koakuma, who has cat-ears and a cat-tail replacing her devil-features.)
    Patchouli: Hmm ... it appears that the "catness" has overridden your devil-features ...
    Koakuma: (cheerful) Kay, so, nyan.
    Meiling: (off-panel) MISS PATCHOULI!
  7. (Patchouli and Koakuma turn to Meiling as the latter rushes in.)
    Patchouli: Is this important? I'm in the middle of valuable research.
    Koakuma: Mew?
    Meiling: Important!? I've seen the unthinkable! It was the Taisui Xingjun! This could be a sign of DOOM!
  8. (Patchouli and Koakuma are skeptical.)
    Patchouli: (narrowing her eyes) Doom, you say.
    Meiling: Yeah! Like, there might be a huge storm or some kind of eartquake that might even DESTROY GENSOKYO!
  9. Patchouli: (angrily) ... I've had it up to here with strange weather and doom-spelling earthquakes!*
    Meiling: (flinching back) W-what!?
    Patchouli: Pester Sakuya about it or get back to your post!
    Footnote: *c.f. Scarlet Weather Rhapsody
  10. Narration Box: Later ...
    (Sakuya is seeing Mokou and Kaguya off at the gate.)
    Kaguya: ... Yeah, we've basically done everything we'll be able to do. Flandre won't be going on any rampages anymore.
    Mokou: She just needs some *real* tutors now. And to hang out with more friends.
    Sakuya: Glad to hear it! See you later!
  11. (Alone, Sakuya looks around curiously.)
    Sakuya: (thought cloud) Now where's Meiling gotten to?
  12. (Meiling is beating the crap out of a giant catfish against a fairly silly cartoonish background. There is an inset "closeup" of the star on her hat.)
    Text On Star: I'M TOTALLY A DRAGON
    Catfish: HOLY CARP!
  13. (The catfish explodes and a huge flame appears.)
    Catfish: NOOOOO!!!
    Meiling: Hah! I've hit you so hard, you're exploding *and* on fire!
  14. (Meiling turns away as bits of light from the explosion fly off in all directions.)
    Meiling: Nice try, Taisui Xingjun, but you won't defeat Hong Meiling, the Great Wall of the Scarlet Devil Mansion!
    Bluish Floating Text: Meiling ... can you hear me!? Wake up, Meiling!
    Purplish Floating Text: It's no use, Sakuya, there's some sort of dream-spell on her. (Not the one the witch made)
    Disembodied Red Voice: W-what!? She completely blew it up!?
  15. (Meiling whirls around.)
    Disembodied Blue Voice: Shh! She can hear us!
    Meiling: Who's there!? Show yourself!
    Disembodied Red Voice: Erk ... n-nobody, um, this is just a dream you're having!
    Bluish Floating Text: Can you do anything to help!?
    Reddish Floating Text: Um ... I can, um, kinda see the spell ... let me try!
  16. (Meiling looks around, surprised.)
    Purplish Floating Text: Mm, do be careful, Flandre.
    Reddish Floating Text: Don't worry! I did this with Koishi! It was the first thing I did after it got upgraded to "manipulation of destruction!"
    Disembodied Red Voice: Sis, that little vampire ...
    Meiling: Th ... what!? What *is* this place!
    SFX: suddenly noticing scenery
    Disembodied Blue Voice: (aside) I know, Mu! (aloud) It's the kind of place you might find in a dream, of course!
  17. Bluish Floating Text: Then I trust it completely. Go ahead, Flan.
    Reddish Floating Text: Right! Here goes ...
    Meiling: (frowning) Okay ... who are you, then?
    Disembodied Red Voice: We're, um, just aspects of your subconscious, China! (aside) This is gonna hurt, isn't it?
    Disembodied Blue Voice: (aside) Yep. (aloud) A-and now it's time to wake up.
  18. (Everything explodes.)
    Tiny SFX: doink
  19. (Back in the library. Meiling, Sakuya (quite close to her), Patchouli, and Flandre are standing there.)
    Meiling: ... Some kind of dream-spell!?
    Sakuya: Yeah ... I was so worried when you weren't waking up.
    Patchouli: Indeed. I gathered enough samples before Flandre destroyed it that I've made a few interesting discoveries.
  20. (Sakuya and Meiling exchange a glance. Flandre narrows her eyes.)
    Patchouli: First, it might have been hazardous, had you come to any significant harm within the dream. But second: I may be able to trace it back to its source.
    Meiling: Aha!
    Sakuya: Why don't we do that, then?
  21. (Back in the cartoonish background, Mugetsu and Gengetsu stand, their fronts looking blackened.)
    Gengetsu: (her text fading in from blue) Ow.
    Mugetsu: (her text fading in from red) Uuuu ...

1Well, obviously.

All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.

20 Comments (auto-closed) (rss feed)


And now I won't have to make it again!

One day until December, and you're already tempting fate. I do hope you've made backups.


The funniest thing is the fact that I was literally JUST thinking of a "Holy carp!" joke just before I saw this.

What's Cirno saying in the first panel, though?

Dizzy H. Muffin

You'll find out next week, when I create her storyline. Or just read her script.



Meiling should use moar Hokuto Shinken.

If there's a next time for Fist of the North Touhou, I'll bow down to you if have Meiling say "Ni Yi Jing Si Le" (You Are Already Dead in Chinese) XD


old-fashioned China in panel number 5 :D YAAAAAAAY!


*thumb up* This is simply the best yet ^^


Why isn't the catfish in the character list

I just now realize how utterly silly that shadow looks.

Does the game ever explain what that shadow is, anyways?

Dizzy H. Muffin

There I fixed it

Yes, it is explained, in the endings and to a lesser extent in Sanae's scenario. Short version: It's a Moriya Shrine conspiracy! (Which Sanae wasn't in on)


Templates like that are forbidden

Geez, is everything post-MoF a Moriya shrine conspiracy? Shouldn't Kanako learn to stop messing around? DARNIT YUKARI KANAKO


Yup, Guys, Meiling is TOTALLY A DRAGON! Mu~

Facteur Rien


In short, I love it. Eeeer. I love HER. Nekoakuma, marry me!


If there's a next time for Fist of the North Touhou, I'll bow down to you if have Meiling say "Ni Yi Jing Si Le" (You Are Already Dead in Chinese) XD

No, more like "Omae wa mo, shinderu." because Kenshiro says that in the anime. BTW:

Dizzy H. Muffin

yes but Meiling is Chinese. "Omae wa mo shindeiru" is Japanese. thatisthejoke.jpg :P


Heh. Google Images has four entries for "thatisthejoke.jpg", and two of them are from Nekokayou.


Holy carp, you changed the logo in this comic as well... wait, why?

Dizzy H. Muffin

Consistency. (Also, the way the code works, it was technically easier to change all RNL comics than to just change one.)

Young Demon Lord

Oh, hey, I just realized that there's probably some good joke lying around somewhere involving Hong Meiling and near the end of the song "Like a Boss."

Specifically, I'm thinking about the events of the song that take place in the sewer.

If I weren't so lazy, I'd go make a fan-flash-...thingy....


No, more like "Omae wa mo, shinderu." because Kenshiro says that in the anime. BTW:

Kenshiro Kasumi, his predecesor in Fist of the Blue Sky says it in Chinese, though.

Tewi Inonymous

Wait, wait.
Cirnos story in unthinkable law isn't just he going on about how she's the strongest and trying to prove it?


Also i have learned by playing cirno in unthinkable law, that when in doubt you should chuck glaciers at things. I mean seriously cirnos 22B/C move is the best thing ever on like 75% of the spellcards in her story mode.


Badly written story, ho!