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Every Time, Everywhere #0006: Fin Dining


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It turns out that Flounder Aimlessly is the best seafood you have ever eaten.

That's not an exaggeration. It's not, y'know, in the "blissful euphoric brain-dead orgasm" sense, it's more like it's just so awesome. You quickly check to see if there's a Wikipedia article titled "Cooking (superpower)" (there is), and then quickly get back to focusing on the yums.

Your experience is marred, however, by another diner who is apparently also getting their experience marred. There's a three-foot-tall guy sitting in one corner, yelling into his phone. He's got an evil handlebar moustache, an oversized chin, a suit that looks identical to Slinus Segall's getup with the addition of a bowler hat, and a voice that sounds like a cross between Snidely Whiplash and Spongebob Squarepants. And what appears to be a Napoleon complex. Obviously this is another hero and it's vitally important that you help him out with whatever quest he's on.

"I said I'm at Fin Dining, HAL!" he says, saying the name with as much venom as a teenager might end a sentence with "MOM!" "Basically I'm saying this can wait. Unless, yaknow, in the past twelve hours since Golden Girl brought my dad in, he's broken out and is ramaging through West Brighton in a freaking Mechazaud? Buuuuut I don't think so."

You sneak a look at your phone and look up Richard Devilish, Sr. on Wikipedia. Sure enough, by way of a brief marriage with one Mariam Devilish, there is in fact a Richard Devilish Jr. who is a member of the Mercenary Consortium. He doesn't have his own article, though, and the details sort of fizzle out at that point.

A quick glance confirms that you're not the only one giving him furtive looks, but you seem to be the only "super" person around as far as you can tell. You consider getting up to have a few choice words with him regarding the rudeness of throwing a tantrum on the phone in the middle of a restaurant; you just need to wait until this overcomes the rudeness of interrupting someone who's on the phone. Which shouldn't take too much longer, you think. In the meantime: delicious flounder.

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