2012/11/06: Written While Depressed-Ish
So ... I met the specialist on Monday. We're still in the "getting to know each other" phase; the stuff he said made sense, and he seems to have a pretty good idea of what's up with me so far, as far as I can tell.
I spent the next 24 hours or so feeling ridiculously tense, both over the election today (US citizens: you should still vote if you can and you haven't) and the fact that I finally have the social security hearing tomorrow, and I had this weird sort of almost ache in my chest. Sometimes I almost felt physically ill, and my appetite was pretty shitty. It sort of died down when I had lunch with my mom and after I voted, but my stomach isn't feeling 100% even now. It actually felt worse than when I'm tears-in-my-eyes depressed.
Speaking of tomorrow, I have higher hopes about my chance of getting SSDI than I did before I got in touch with my lawyer yesterday. We've pretty much worked out a plan, and we'll fill in some more details tomorrow (since we don't know who the judge will be until we get there).
So, Yeah ... the future hasn't quite happened yet, but I'm pretty much ready for it, intelectually speaking.