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Touhou Nekokayou #18: I'm The Fastest!

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Touhou Nekokayou: Scarlet Weather Archive in Japanese Red #18

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Characters: Aya Shameimaru, Youmu Konpaku, Suika Ibuki, Yuyuko Saigyouji, Sanae Kotiya, Reimu Hakurei, Marisa Kirisame, Lily White, Sakuya Izayoi, Remilia Scarlet, Kanako Yasaka, Suwako Moriya, Yukari Yakumo

The "Lucy Gambit" is a reference to Lucy van Pelt from the comic strip Peanuts, well-known for yoinking the football away from Charlie Brown before he could kick it.

With thirteen characters, I've beaten my previous record. Not all of them had speaking parts, of course, but not everyone had lines in "The End of SSiB," either. That's Marisa who's been stuffed into the bushes, by the way, in case it wasn't obvious.

I figured it was in-character for Sakuya, rather than trying to shout or boast or put down the others, to simply insert herself into the proceedings and quietly demonstrate she's better.1

As for why Aya and Youmu aren't getting hurt by Lily White's danmaku: they're behind it, duh.


  1. (Youmu and Aya face off against each other in the woods somewhere, while Suika and Yuyuko look on.)
    Aya: I'm the fastest in Gensokyo in *canon*!
    Youmu: Oh yeah!? My theoretical top speed is an appreciable fraction of the speed of light!
    Suika: Jeez, figures those two'd go at it sooner or later ...
  2. Suika: Hey, you two ... if you're so worked up over who's faster, why don't you have a race!?
    Aya: A race ... of course! That'll settle it once and for all!
    Youmu: Yeah! I'll win the race, and prove I'm the fastest!
    Yuyuko: Ooh, this sounds like it'll be fun!
  3. Narration box: And so ...
    (At the Moriya Shrine. Suika drinks from her gourd in the corner; Sanae stands in front of them.)
    Sanae: The race will be from the Moriya Shrine to the Hakurei Shrine, with Suika judging since she can be in two places at once!
    Youmu: Heh, I'll show my victory by slashing the donation box!
    Aya: And I'll show *my* victory by snapping a picture of the *unslashed* donation box!
  4. (At the Hakurei shrine; Reimu and Marisa stand by the donation box.)
    Reimu: I dunno about this ... I mean ... this is my donation box! How else will I be able to make money!?
    Marisa: Oh, hush, it's not like anyone ever donates anythin' to begin with, se ...
  5. (There's a crowd in the Moriya shrine's yard, including Remilia with a parasol, Sakuya, Kanako, Suwako, and Yuyuko. Aya and Youmu stand next to each other, Youmu brandishing her swords.)
    Suika: Okay, I got another Suik' at Reimu's place!
    Aya: Ready to lose?
    Youmu: No, ready to win!
    Lily White: On your mark ... get set ...
  6. (Lily sets off bullets, Aya and Youmu start running, and Sakuya stops time.)
    Lily White: GO!
  7. (Sakuya wanders through the time-frozen crowd.)
  8. (She arrives at the Hakurei shrine, with time still frozen; in the background, Marisa has been stuffed into a bush. Suika is grinning drunkenly, while Reimu is standing over the donation box in horror.)
  9. (Sakuya walks up to the donation-box.)
  10. (Sakuya resumes time, picking up the donation-box.)
    Reimu: NOOOOOOOOO -- huh?
  11. (A black-and-white blur and a silver-and-green blur zip by as Sakuya tugs the box out of the way.)
    Sakuya: Stand back, please.
    Reimu: Wha!
    Youmu and Aya: WAUGH!
  12. (A newspaper clipping, with a photograph of Sakuya in the foreground; in the background, Yukari can be seen grabbing Aya, while Yuyuko comforts a sobbing Youmu. And Marisa is still stuffed into the bush.)
    Headline: Scarlet Devil Mansion head maid declared "fastest in Gensokyo" via Lucy gambit
    Inset text: "If slashing counts, why not stopping time?" - S. Izayoi
    Headline: Youkai of Boundaries claims to have "won" race participant by betting that another participant would win
    Inset text: ZUN unavailable for (cut off)

1While still being prepared to verbally kick your ass when it comes to a straight fight, of course.

All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.

17 Comments (auto-closed) (rss feed)


I remember reading a doujin where Aya, Marisa and Youmu race. The course was from some rock behind the Hakurei Shrine, to Sakuya's room and back. Youmu got to SDM first and unfortunately saw Sakuya changing and due to samurai's pride, ended up having to *be* with her. Now only Aya and Marisa are left. They were even until Marisa suddenly lost speed due to depleted magic. And guess what? She decided to use the power of science (read: ride on a rocket) to win the race but ended up getting blown up XD Okay you may have read this doujin but I just felt the need to time how fast I could type this XP Btw it has an awesome cover :3 And once I find it again I plan to use it as a wallpaper XD

Dizzy H. Slightly Voided

Heh, yeah, I saw that doujin too. I wasn't actually thinking of it when I made this, though. I'm not even sure I'd seen it at the time ...


Why do I keep thinking that where it says "ZUN unavailable for", is where a "NO WAY THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! :O" comment is?

Dizzy H. Slightly Voided

It's supposed to be "ZUN unavailable for comment" :P


What doujin are you talking about and where can I download it?


What's Marisa doing in Panel 8?

Dizzy H. Slightly Voided

Reimu stuffed her into the bushes for saying the shrine doesn't get any donations.

Facteur Rien

I like how you manage to keep up the proportions between the characters.

Oh, and here the link to this doujin:

Saku saku Tei draw very well, even if its Aya iss a little creepy. Looks more like an eagle than a crow.


Nice Comic.

And it Cuta to see Mimi-Chan form Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream being used.


I"m wondering what newspaper that's in since Aya would write that she won anyway.

Dizzy H. Slightly Voided

I'm fairly certain Bunbunmaru isn't the only newspaper in Gensokyo.


Speed equals distance over time, right? So, even though Sakuya walked the distance between the Moriya to Hakurei shrines, she did so while time was stopped. Ergo, her total travel time = 0. Anything/0 is undefined, so Sakuya's speed is, logically, undefined.

Does this make Sakuya an Undefined Fantastic Object, or am I pushing this train of thought too far?


Logic? In OUR Gensokyo? It's less likely than you'd think.


Yeah, you're thinking too much into things.

Dizzy H. Slightly Voided

No, that's all right, Nonymice was using this "logic" as a means for a perfect and elegant pun, which we at Muffiny Miscellany support wholeheartedly.


@Kimiko: "I'm fairly certain Bunbunmaru isn't the only newspaper in Gensokyo."

After several months, you've been proven right!


And then Yukari went and broke the boundary between "fair" and "unfair", allowing her to gain money in bets all the same XD


Actually, Aya could have printed that. In canon she's a firm believer and seeker of the truth, she just has a bad habit of (quickly) jumping to wild conclusions.