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The Great Fairy Caper: Catness Side-Story

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Two fairies sat alone around a table, in a hidden home in the Magic Forest that had been made for three.

"We've got to rescue her!" exclaimed Luna Child (fairy, appearance of about 10 years old, golden coily hair, white dress with black trim, poofy white hat with black ribbon, yellowish fairy-wings).

Star Sapphire (fairy, appearance of about 10 years old, long black hair, blue and white dress, blue hair-ribbon, bluish fairy-wings) sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon. "Are you sure we need to go through some big whole caper over this?" she said.

"Yes!" Luna snapped promptly. "She is our leader! We can't just leave her there! Who knows what atrocities she's being subjected to in the Mansion of the Devil! We can't just abandon Sunny Milk!" (fairy, appearance of about 10 years old, blonde hair in twin ponytails, red and white dress, a sort of maid-like headband, pinkish fairy-wings)

Star furrowed her brow. "You mean, like, forced labor or something?"

"Um ..." Luna hesitated, but then redoubled her enthusiasm. "Well, you know we'd get punished we got caught slacking by that maid! And then she caught Sunny in that time-stop thing when we were sneaking out ..."

"Nice exposition."



"Um, sure."

"Look," said Star Sapphire, "I'm sure she's doing just fine. As long as she doesn't do anything outrageously stupid, she won't be doing a whole lot less work than the rest of the slacking fairies, so there's not going to be much trouble. But if we try to cause trouble ..."

Luna Child slammed her hand down on the table. "Unacceptable!" she announced. "I have a cunning plan, which cannot fail!"

"Oh gods," muttered Star, burying her head in her hands.

"No, really, it'll work! It's a simple plan!" Luna said desperately. "It's, well, you know, the head maid and the gate-guard are on break today! We should take advantage of the situation!"

Star Sapphire looked up at Luna and slowly sat up. The trio had been close friends for as long as they could remember,1 and Star knew when to go along with their crazy schemes, and exactly when to bail out them once things started to turn upside-down and get crumpled up into a ball. "Okay," she said. "Let's hear it."

Luna Child slowly nodded. She really wasn't as good at things like this when Sunny Milk wasn't around, but she took a deep breath and began to speak. "First, we hafta just, y'know, stroll boldly right up to the front gate!" she said. "And we gotta just go right in, no dawdling, we don't want the maid or the guard to catch us while they're coming back on duty."

Star Sapphire nodded, frowning. So far, this didn't seem much more cunning than "we'll go in." On the other hand, this was Luna Child, who rated as only slightly less of a nineball than the infamous ice fairy Cirno.

"And then, then, we sorta start our working shift like usual," said Luna. "No calling attention to ourselves, right? We will investigate where they're keeping Sunny. And, and then, we'll work near that place, and then, um, figure out how to get her out from there," she finished lamely, panic starting to appear on her face.

Star Sapphire considered this, her face contorting as she tried to think of something complimentary to say. "You know," she said, "coming from you, that's an unusually well-thought-out and subtle plan."

This genuinely surprised Luna Child, who was even worse at reading facial expressions than Star Sapphire was at hiding them. "Really?" she said. "Um, thanks."

It was a crisp day in early spring, with some snow still on the ground as the two fairies slowly approached the Mansion on foot. They moved forward tentatively, as if they weren't actually hoping to reach their destination. Luna Child had an expression of mounting panic, while Star Sapphire was becoming increasingly annoyed.

Star Sapphire had the ability to sense living things; it was now flaring up. She said, "Um, Luna, something's comi—"

Suddenly a human-sized shape landed on the ground in front of them. They froze in terror.

Alice Margatroid (youkai magician, appearance of human in early twenties, short blonde hair, blue dress, white shawl, red headband, hiking boots) blinked as she glanced down at them, only noticing them now. "Oh, it's you," she said distractedly. "Where's the third one?"

Luna gestured mutely towards the Mansion. Star said, "W-we're ... going to go visit her," she said.

Alice nodded. She seemed to have something else on her mind. "Okay," she said, and turned to walk towards the mansion, a doll floating in her wake.

"R-right," muttered Luna, trembling.

"We can't go invisible without Sunny!" hissed Star.

"We ... we can still get there anyway!" said Luna. "I think. Er, they'll recognize us, we sorta work there ..." She made no move to approach.

"Are we going or not?" said Star irritably.

Luna jumped slightly. "R-right, let's go!" she said, and scurried towards the front gate, with Star trailing after her.

The inside of the mansion was red, of course. Red carpeting, pink walls, and cheerful lighting consisting of absolutely no natural sunlight whatsoever. (It was a vampire's mansion, after all.) Down the hall, they could see Alice walking in the general direction of Voile, the Magic Library, escorted by —

— Sunny Milk, in the Mansion's dark-blue maid uniform.

Luna Child brightened, and waved, opening her mouth to call out. Star Sapphire clamped her hand over Luna's mouth and muttered, "Don't draw attention to ourselves!"

Luna pushed Star's hand away and sputtered. "But ... but ... she's right there!"

"But she's busy and they'll catch us if we try to interrupt her while she's actually doing work!" snapped Star.

An expression of complete stupidity crossed Luna Child's face. "Um ... oh," she said.

Suddenly, there was a clong from the direction of the library, as if someone had gotten hit over the head by a frying pan, followed by a feline yowl. The two fairies hesitated, but decided not to deal with it. They'd heard stranger things coming from the library before.

"Let's just go get changed," said Star Sapphire.

Ten minutes later, they stepped out of the fairies' dressing room wearing the maid mansion's uniform, which consisted of a simple dark-blue dress with a white apron; most fairies who didn't already have some sort of hairpiece also wore that maid headband thing that all maids sorta hafta wear, to use Sunny Milk's description, but Star Sapphire kept her ribbon and Luna Child kept her hat.

"Okay, now let's go and get Sunny Milk and bring her home!" announced Luna Child.

"But the plan was to start working and look for a good opportunity to bring her back!" said Star Sapphire.

"Huh?" Luna Child blinked. "But we know where she is now, we don't need to do that!"

"Yes we do," said Star. "We —"

"No we don't!" snapped Luna defensively.

"Yes we do," said Star. "We need to make sure we don't get caught!"

"We won't get caught!" said Luna. "We just need —"

There was a swish of movement, as if someone just entering earshot had stopped time, walked over to where they were, and then unstopped time. "Is there a problem?" said the voice of Sakuya Izayoi (human, appearance of mid-twenties, short silver hair with braids on either side of her face, standard SDM maid uniform) behind them.

They froze, slowly turning around to face her. Standing at the other end of the hall was the door guard, Hong Meiling (youkai, appearance fo mid-twenties, long red braided hair, green Chinese-style dress uniform). Both of them had mildly amused grins; Sakuya was holding a silver knife as Meiling walked over.

"Ah! Sakuya-san!" exclaimed Luna Child, her face a mask of pure terror. "We ... um ..."

"L-Luna took the uniform I wanted to wear!" said Star Sapphire, thinking really fast.

Luna blinked, terror giving way to confusion. "But ... they're ... all the same ..."

Meiling rolled her eyes. "Fairies," she said in mock desperation.

Sakuya sighed, shaking her head. "You know what, I'm not going to deal with this," she said. "You," and she pointed at Star Sapphire, "just deal with it. You," pointing at Luna, "pay more attention to what other people want. We're going to go back on duty in a few minutes, and —"

There was a crash from down the hall, and then Flandre Scarlet (vampire, appearance of eleven years old, short blonde hair tied in a ponytail on her left side, red dress, wings that appear to be curved iron with multicolored shards hanging from them) raced towards them. She was missing her pink hat, and had a pair of cat-ears and a golden-furred tail. "Where's Remilia?" she exclaimed brightly.

"Um ... she's in the Library," said Sakuya, frowning.

"Flandre," said Meiling, "um, why ..."

"Okay!" said Flandre, cat-ears perking up as she scampered away.

"Um," said Luna Child.

Sakuya turned to glare at them. "Get to work," she said darkly, then hurried away after Flandre.

"I'm ... just ... going back on duty," said Meiling with a shrug, and walked off in the opposite direction.

"I can't believe we got away with that," moaned Luna once both were out of sight. "I thought she was going to kill us a hundred times each!"2

"I think she's kind of distracted," said Star Sapphire.

"Oh," said Luna Child. "Where's Sunny?"

"I think she's in the library," said Star, watching after Sakuya.

"B-but that maid is there!" said Luna.

"Well we won't be able to rescue her if we keep sitting here!" said Star.

They ended up in the library, halfheartedly dusting bookshelves, and kept out of sight of Sakuya, but within earshot.

"An Incident!" said the librarian, Patchouli Knowledge (youkai magician, appears in mid-twenties, long lavender-colored hair, pink robes that look sort of like pajamas, a matching poofy hat with a crescent moon pin). "Oh, hello, Sakyua."

"Awesome!" said Flandre. "Can I help resolve it?"

"Mmm ... you might," said Remilia Scarlet (vampire, appearance of twelve years old, short sky-blue hair, pink dress with red trim, poofy pink hat with a scarlet ribbon, bat-wings). "Patchouli, can you examine her magical aura?"

"Now where did Sunny get to," muttered Star Sapphire, looking around.

"That would pose no difficulty," said Patchouli. "I will require at least one strand of hair, and one strand of fur from each ear and your tail, Flandre."

"You get them, Sakuya!" said Flandre.

Luna Child pointed. About sixty feet away on one of the higher bookshelves, Sunny Milk was dusting a shelf. She saw them, and waved.

"Okay ... hold still a second," said Sakuya's voice, tinged with amusement.

There was a whisper of movement, and then a yelp and a giggle from Flandre.

"Here you go," said Sakuya.

"Thank you," said Patchouli. "That will be all I need."

Luna Child began to fly eagerly towards Sunny Milk, who began shaking her head furiously and waving them away. Star Sapphire grabbed Luna's arm and pointed. They were almost directly above the area where Patchouli, Remilia, Sakuya, and Flandre were; another ten feet and they would have been directly in Sakuya's field of vision.

"Oh," said Luna Child, inching back behind the bookcase again.

"All right, then," said Remilia. "Sakuya, if you'd be so kind as to escort Flandre back to her bedroom?"

"Aww, no fair!" said Flandre in mock petulance.

Sunny Milk began gesticulating animatedly and shaking her head. Star and Luna stared at her in confusion.

"Please come this way, young mistress," said Sakuya drily. Two sets of footsteps began moving toward the exit.

"Jeez, you people never let me have any fun unless I'm locked up in the basement!" said Flandre irreverently. "I have to break half the rules just to enjoy myself with other people!"

"What's she going crazy for?" muttered Luna, staring at Sunny.

"I have no idea," muttered Star.

"Odd," said Patchouli. "I'm having difficulty getting a fix on the precise nature of the spell."

"I thought you had its interference with the Ratcatcher pinned down?" said Remilia.

Sunny put her hands on her hips, shaking her head in frustration.

"We should still get to her," said Luna, starting to move forward.

Star grabbed her arm. "They're still down there!"

"Oh, right," said Luna, glancing down towards Remilia and Patchouli, before she retreated again.

"I understand the what," said Patchouli. "Not the why."

"Oh, well," said Remilia. "I suppose I'll have to send out Sakuya to investigate it. Oh, it's also almost time for your medicine, isn't it?"

"Wait, where'd Sunny go?" said Luna abruptly.

Star Sapphire looked up and blinked. Sunny Milk seemed to have vanished. "What?" she muttered, looking around, then up, then down.

"Oh, yes, you're quite right, thank you," said Patchouli. "I'll see you later, then."

"Goodbye," said Remilia. A sound like a large pair of bat-wings flitted towards the exit, and Remilia walked the rest of the way.

"M-maybe the maid got her!" muttered Luna fearfully.

"She couldn't have," said Star. "She was with Flandre. Wasn't she?" she added uneasily.

Patchouli was heard moving towards another exit. "Koakuma?" she called out.

There was a magical buzzing noise, and then the voice of Patchouli's assistant (summoned devil, appearance of 19 years old, long maroon hair, black and white formal dress, a small pair of bat-wings on top of her head, one demonic tail) said, "Ah, yes, Miss Patchouli, I've got the prescription right here."

"Maybe she got her by stopping time or something!" said Luna, starting to panic.

"But ... why would she?" said Star Sapphire, starting to become uneasy herself.

"Hi," said Sunny Milk, coming up up beside them.

The other two jumped in surprise. "Sunny? How did you get here!?" exclaimed Luna.

"I went around past that other bookcase, past that chandelier, and then doubled back behind this bookcase," said Sunny, gesturing.

Star looked over at the path Sunny indicated. "Oh, I see," she said.

Luna blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

"Took you long enough to find me here," said Sunny Milk, though she didn't seem particularly upset.

"Ah, it's because we needed to follow my brilliant plan!" said Luna Child, making a wide sweeping gesture.

"And because you did the exact opposite of what you said we should do every step of the way," said Star Sapphire.

"Oh, you people," said Sunny Milk, shaking her head in disapproval before Luna and Star could go at each others' throats. "Now, Sakuya has forbidden me from going within fifty feet of either of you. You get back to what you were doing — my shift she gave me is ending in a couple of hours, so let's meet by the front of the library in half an hour. I want you two to go clean the hallways and scout a good escape-route for us to use, okay?"

Luna brightened. "Ah! You're going to escape with us?" she said.

Sunny winked and grinned. "Of course!" she said. "With all three of us working together, we can do anything we want! Now get going!"

Since Sakuya was usually the only one who actually did any substantial cleaning work, (a) there was much more dust on the walls and ceiling than you'd expect from the number of maids the Mansion had, and (b) when Sakuya found them wiping off part of the upper walls ten minutes later, she wasn't particularly bothered by how halfhearted the job was.

"Good, keep up what you're doing," she said, causing them to jump in alarm. "I'm going out for the rest of today and possibly part of tomorrow; Meiling's in charge while I'm gone. She'll tell you where to clean until I get back. I trust you'll show her the exact same amount of respect that you'll show me, yes?"

"Okay," said Star Sapphire, trying not to tremble.

"Why's your friend curled up in the corner of the ceiling like that?" said Sakuya.

Star turned; Luna Child was curled up in a fetal position nearby. "I think it's because she's scared of you," she said.

Sakuya snorted and rolled her eyes. "All right," she said. "One more thing." She flew up until she was level with the two fairies, hovering right in front of them. "Do not go within fifty feet of the third one. Do I make myself clear?"

Even Star's meager composure was shattered. "Y-yes!" she squeaked.

"Good," said Sakuya, landing. Then she vanished, stopping time and slipping away.

"We won't be able to do this!" moaned Luna Child.

"D-don't worry," stammered Star Sapphire. "She won't be here when it's time!"

They were actually a few minutes early, but Sunny Milk was standing impatiently with her arms crossed by the entrance to the Library when they arrived. "Took you long enough!" she said. "Did you get an escape route planned out?"

Luna Child nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Follow me!"

She led them to the main hallway, which offered them a straight line to the exit. "So, just going right out?" said Sunny Milk.

"Nah," said Luna Child. "First, we go down that side hallway ..."

They rounded the corner, and found Meiling standing in front of them. "And then do what?" she said, smirking.

They froze.

She can manipulate her chi or whatever it's called, thought Star Sapphire. She can make herself invisible to my ability to sense living things!

Then they fled straight towards the exit. Meiling's hand lanced out, grabbing the collar of Luna Child's uniform, since she was the closest.

"Luna!" exclaimed Sunny Milk.

"Don't worry about me!" yelled Luna. "Save yourselves!"

Meiling looked like she was about to pounce again. Star and Sunny, seeing the wisdom in Luna's self-sacrificing plea, made a beeline for the exit.

Two fairies sat alone around a table, in a hidden home in the Magic Forest that had been made for three.

"We've got to rescue her!" exclaimed Sunny Milk.

Star Sapphire sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon.

1Admittedly, given that they were fairies, this didn't say a whole lot.

2When fairies die, they immediately reincarnate within a few minutes in aproximately the same place they died, retaining all their memories from their previous life. This is a product of various factors, including their spiritual connection with nature, the fact that their souls usually aren't powerful enough to be carried along by the usual cycle of death and rebirth, and the fact that they aren't smart enough to understand true death.

3 Comments (auto-closed) (rss feed)


I don't get it. Is there a point to describing the appearance of every character?


The real mystery is why anyone would *want* to stop the three of them from leaving...

Unless it's just because they're still wearing their uniforms. `.`

Facteur Rien

Ooh. So your wrote a story about event that we see only on one or two 4koma.
I'm impressed. Now the "don't worry for yourselves" make sense.
Now, I'm waiting to see the fairies' reaction to the anti-slacker police.