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Touhou Nekokayou #88: Still More Epic
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Characters: Mima, Yukari Yakumo, Reimu Hakurei, Ran Yakumo, Marisa Kirisame, Flandre Scarlet, Yuyuko Saigyouji, Kaguya Houraisan, Fujiwara no Mokou
Transcript
- (Closeup of Mima against a fiery dark background.)
Mima: IT TOTALLY ACTUALLY WAS ME THIS TIME!! - (She is hovering by a cliff under a crescent moon.)
Mima: Soon, I shall defeat Reimu Hakurei once and for all! All those other times she beat me were just flukes! - (Yukari suddenly comes out of a gap behind her.)
Yukari: 'Scuthe me, Mima, but I don't think Reimu will let you beat her, you're not a fighting game endboss.
SFX: FOOP - (Yukari closes the gap behind her.)
Mima: Yeah, well, this is a fanfic, not an official game, so any-thing goes! now I'm gonna show how EPIC the story is by killing you!!
Yukari: (sardonic) That simple, huh? - (Mima sets Yukari's face on fire.)
Mima: um ... YES!
SFX: BOOMIES - (Yukari explodes, sending Mima flying.)
SFX: KRAKOW
Mima: WAUGH! - Narration box: Meanwhile ...
(Flandre and Yuyuko stand in the hall in Hakugyokurou; Yuyuko has an extremely silly expression, and a smaller Yuyuko cheerfully sticking out of her mouth.)
Flandre: Yo dawg, I heard you like Touhou ghosts, so we put a Yuyuko in your Yuyuko so you can danmaku while you danmaku.
Yuyuko: GENTLEMEN. - Narration box: Oops, wait, wrong "meanwhile."
(Mokou and Kaguya are having a Confrontation in the bamboo forest at night, looking Serious.)
Mokou: I'm tired, Kaguya. Tired of living in eternal hatred, tired of knowing that any day I might have to fight for my life, tired of an endless battle that NEITHER OF US WILL EVER WIN!
SFX: Looking serious! - (Kaguya responds cheerfully, and Mokou's reaction is a mixture of both annoyance and mirth.)
Kaguya: Don't worry, I'm sure the alien invaders will eventually figure out that they can't kill us.
Mokou: Hah, dammit, Kaguya, you're not supposed to act like your "Inaba of the Moon/Earth" personality, this is supposed to be an EPIC -- um ... wait, what? - (Reimu and Ran against a sketchy pink background.)
Reimu: OH MY GODS! YU-KILLED-KARI!
Ran: YOU BASTARD! - (Closeup of Marisa against a sketchy pink background.)
Marisa: NO WAY! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! - (Ran, Reimu, and Marisa face off against Mima at the End of Gensokyo.)
Ran: What you have done is unforgiveable!
Reimu: More importantly, you've created a time paradox! (aside) ... is this gonna happen *every* time we do an "epic" thing?
Marisa: Hi, boss, I've gotten over my angst, ze! - Ran: (aside) Whaddaya *mean*, "more importantly"?
Mima: Well, I've killed Yukari to show you I mean business! I could instantly do the same thing to you!
Reimu: (flinching) Erk!
Marisa: Goin' all-out right away, huh? - Mima: (turning away) Of course not! I'm just going to run off and leave you alive, to show that you pose no threat!
Ran: What!? Why, you, I oughta ...
Reimu: Excuse me? Mima, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.
Marisa: Yeah, I mean, like, that's an "Evil Overlord List" violation right there. - (Mima vanishes in a puff of smoke.)
Ran: GET BACK HERE!
Mima: Later, 'gators!
SFX: ZUN
Reimu: You don't seem too bothered, Marisa ...
Marisa: Oh, I already know how to beat her, since I used to work for her, y'know? - (Closeup of Marisa against a sketchy pink background, preparing to put on sunglasses.)
Marisa: Which is to say ...
- (Marisa puts the sunglasses on.)
Marisa: ... she's my ex-boss.
- (Wide view of Gensokyo.)
The Who: YEAHHHH!!! - (Mima floats by an epic background scene by the Moriya Shrine.)
Mima: And now -- wait, wasn't the moon just a waning crescent just now? - (Ran appears and attacks.)
Ran: I'LL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU DIE *AGAIN*!!
SFX: decoy!
Mima: Oh, back for some fun? - (Ran chomps on Mima's head while Reimu and Marisa fly in from the other direction; Marisa is surfing on her broom and using her mini-hakkero to hit Reimu with a beam which powers her up.)
SFX: Chomp
Reimu: HAX SIGN "DEUS EX MACHINA!"
Mima: Oh ffffff-- - (Cut to the surface of the Moon, with Earth visible.)
- (Earth explodes.)
SFX: (BOOMIES, EXCEPT THERE'S NO SOUND IN SPACE)
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All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.
36 Comments (auto-closed)
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Player Three
@EOCB: It's a combination of a Pimp My Ride joke and a Team Fortress 2 joke. A very awesome combination.
Houraiguy
There's no sound in space...
I wonder if actually making a note of that should warrant unlocking the No One Could Hear You Scream impossible badge for realistic situationalismingificationisticalism.
Beta-Maxis
The first time I read this it was Kaguya saying 'Then just stop,' which I found extremely sensible. Then again, the others are smart too, mybe more so than the fourth-wall-breaking.
Yeah, I totally went there. And there. And there. :3
I think this conveys what I wanted to do a lot better than the previous "epic" comic. Apart from anything else (a phrase which I notice I have grossly overused), it gets the death right, i.e. Yukari, arguably the most powerful being in Gensokyo. Mima then proceeds to hang a lampshade (Warning, link leads to TVTropes. Muffin will not be held responsible for hours of time lost as a result of following it.But see also this disclaimer) on the author's intentions in doing so. (spoiler: it fails)
Oh yeah, the panel with Mokou and Kaguya is randomized. I made a new awesome update to the script-parser to get that to work without much prompting! Did it with #51, too.
I think I've just about run out of "Meanwhile ..." jokes. Well, at least as far as getting this silly goes.
So, the mirror-universe counterpart of "forgetting to actually capture panels" is turning out to be "forgetting to save the transcript before starting to work on the next panel." Ah well ...