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Touhou Nekokayou #88: Still More Epic
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Characters: Mima, Yukari Yakumo, Reimu Hakurei, Ran Yakumo, Marisa Kirisame, Flandre Scarlet, Yuyuko Saigyouji, Kaguya Houraisan, Fujiwara no Mokou
Transcript
- (Closeup of Mima against a fiery dark background.)
Mima: IT TOTALLY ACTUALLY WAS ME THIS TIME!! - (She is hovering by a cliff under a crescent moon.)
Mima: Soon, I shall defeat Reimu Hakurei once and for all! All those other times she beat me were just flukes! - (Yukari suddenly comes out of a gap behind her.)
Yukari: 'Scuthe me, Mima, but I don't think Reimu will let you beat her, you're not a fighting game endboss.
SFX: FOOP - (Yukari closes the gap behind her.)
Mima: Yeah, well, this is a fanfic, not an official game, so any-thing goes! now I'm gonna show how EPIC the story is by killing you!!
Yukari: (sardonic) That simple, huh? - (Mima sets Yukari's face on fire.)
Mima: um ... YES!
SFX: BOOMIES - (Yukari explodes, sending Mima flying.)
SFX: KRAKOW
Mima: WAUGH! - Narration box: Meanwhile ...
(Flandre and Yuyuko stand in the hall in Hakugyokurou; Yuyuko has an extremely silly expression, and a smaller Yuyuko cheerfully sticking out of her mouth.)
Flandre: Yo dawg, I heard you like Touhou ghosts, so we put a Yuyuko in your Yuyuko so you can danmaku while you danmaku.
Yuyuko: GENTLEMEN. - Narration box: Oops, wait, wrong "meanwhile."
(Mokou and Kaguya are having a Confrontation in the bamboo forest at night, looking Serious.)
Mokou: I'm tired, Kaguya. Tired of living in eternal hatred, tired of knowing that any day I might have to fight for my life, tired of an endless battle that NEITHER OF US WILL EVER WIN!
SFX: Looking serious! - (Kaguya responds cheerfully, and Mokou's reaction is a mixture of both annoyance and mirth.)
Kaguya: Well, this *is* right before Subterranean Animism, so it'll just be until this winter!
Mokou: Hah, dammit, Kaguya, you're not supposed to act like your "Inaba of the moon/earth" personality, this is supposed to be an EPIC thing! - (Reimu and Ran against a sketchy pink background.)
Reimu: OH MY GODS! YU-KILLED-KARI!
Ran: YOU BASTARD! - (Closeup of Marisa against a sketchy pink background.)
Marisa: NO WAY! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! - (Ran, Reimu, and Marisa face off against Mima at the End of Gensokyo.)
Ran: What you have done is unforgiveable!
Reimu: More importantly, you've created a time paradox! (aside) ... is this gonna happen *every* time we do an "epic" thing?
Marisa: Hi, boss, I've gotten over my angst, ze! - Ran: (aside) Whaddaya *mean*, "more importantly"?
Mima: Well, I've killed Yukari to show you I mean business! I could instantly do the same thing to you!
Reimu: (flinching) Erk!
Marisa: Goin' all-out right away, huh? - Mima: (turning away) Of course not! I'm just going to run off and leave you alive, to show that you pose no threat!
Ran: What!? Why, you, I oughta ...
Reimu: Excuse me? Mima, I thought you were supposed to be intelligent.
Marisa: Yeah, I mean, like, that's an "Evil Overlord List" violation right there. - (Mima vanishes in a puff of smoke.)
Ran: GET BACK HERE!
Mima: Later, 'gators!
SFX: ZUN
Reimu: You don't seem too bothered, Marisa ...
Marisa: Oh, I already know how to beat her, since I used to work for her, y'know? - (Closeup of Marisa against a sketchy pink background, preparing to put on sunglasses.)
Marisa: Which is to say ...
- (Marisa puts the sunglasses on.)
Marisa: ... she's my ex-boss.
- (Wide view of Gensokyo.)
The Who: YEAHHHH!!! - (Mima floats by an epic background scene by the Moriya Shrine.)
Mima: And now -- wait, wasn't the moon just a waning crescent just now? - (Ran appears and attacks.)
Ran: I'LL KILL YOU UNTIL YOU DIE *AGAIN*!!
SFX: decoy!
Mima: Oh, back for some fun? - (Ran chomps on Mima's head while Reimu and Marisa fly in from the other direction; Marisa is surfing on her broom and using her mini-hakkero to hit Reimu with a beam which powers her up.)
SFX: Chomp
Reimu: HAX SIGN "DEUS EX MACHINA!"
Mima: Oh ffffff-- - (Cut to the surface of the Moon, with Earth visible.)
- (Earth explodes.)
SFX: (BOOMIES, EXCEPT THERE'S NO SOUND IN SPACE)
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All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.
36 Comments (auto-closed)
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universalperson
Mima would like to say that she does not care about losing to Reimu, only that the battle is suitably epic enough...although she'd settle for a cameo at this point.
Speaking of epicness:
Yorihime: OH NO! I'VE BEEN OUTHAXED!
Shinki: MOON VACATIONS!
Kaguya: EIRIN!
Mokou: She'll just revive...right?
Eirin: *NEARLY DIES FOR REALS*
Flandre: PLAY WITH ME!
Sakuya: Lost moon what?
Remilia: JUST AS PLANNED!
Reimu: GET EM SUIKA!
Alice: I WILL USE MY FULL POWERS!
Yukari: Why can't I go to the moon? ;_;
*PC-98 VERSUS WINDOWS FIGHT*
Kogasa: USHIROMIYA!
Byakuren: BEHOLD! OUR EPIC COUNTER-INVASION INVASON!
Person: UFOS ARE INVADING THE MOON!
Marisa: How are they flying that ship?
Utsuho: THE POWER OF NUCLEAR FUSION!
Reimu: Okay, battle's over, let's have tea.
Everyone: YAYYYYYY!
Mima: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JUST AS PLANNED!
Yuka: What did you do?
Mima: >_>
Dan-Heron
no, no more. It's too epic for my immortal soul!
..... so only one No Way that's impossible? I thought it'd be more epic than that....
PMiller1
Wow.
What Next? Shinki's Epic invasion? Yumemi's Epic Cyber Punk? Sariel and Konngara Epic Revenge?
alphamone
you kinda failed with the glasses pull, as you made an actual pun (a pretty groan inducing one too :D ), while horatio couldnt make a pun to save his life.
>.> <.<
Young Demon Lord
My favorite part: "Ex-boss".
Close second: the randomized Kaguya lines. How many are there, anyway? I have seen no fewer than three different versions of that panel.
PMiller1
/ Modified by Dizzy H. Slightly Voided:
@Young Demon Lord
[BALEETED BY MUFFIN]
I have save 4 so far.
Kavi
This comic is too epic for words.
On another note, I got the fourth and fifth Mokou/Kaguya scenarios at the same time; that is, one of them didn't match the one in the transcript, so I got to see two at once.
Tewi Inonymous
I stand by my statement that killing main characters in touhou is largely irrelevant.
Also if the EPIC! villain can beat yukari, how are the protagonists supposed to beat said villain? I mean really.
Dizzy H. Slightly Voided
@Kavi: Hmm. I'll have to look into that ... I guess I screwed up the code again, whee ...
@Tewi-Inonymous: That's part of the joke; the creator of a serious "EPIC!" story like this is implicitly going "I'll kill Yukari off to show you I mean business, and to make it look like it'd be impossible to defeat the main villain!" And like I said last time, after the third or fourth episode of this happening, it kind of loses its effect. (warning, TVTropes, etc)
Morgan
My first reaction to panel 8 was "When did Mokou turn into me?" I've gotten so tired of reading stories about them killing each other repeatedly... and I haven't even read that many.
Young Demon Lord
Okay, I found them all, if there's really only five of them. I have seen five separate versions of that line now.
But I may have cheated. I refuse to elaborate further on that statement because of a previous post that was modified by Muffin.
Dizzy H. Slightly Voided
Aha, there, I fixed it! I accidentally one of the values for the validator.
SDM
That was very strange. Funny, but strange. But then again, that's the intent, isn't it? =P
Random memes, a nod to Kaguya's borderline insane personality in IE/IM, throwback to a previous commentary...good stuff.
Nimmy
I'm not getting the randomized lines, unless I randomly got the same one 10 times in a row (which would either make me very lucky or very unlucky, depending on who you ask).
Player Three
@EOCB: It's a combination of a Pimp My Ride joke and a Team Fortress 2 joke. A very awesome combination.
Houraiguy
There's no sound in space...
I wonder if actually making a note of that should warrant unlocking the No One Could Hear You Scream impossible badge for realistic situationalismingificationisticalism.
Beta-Maxis
The first time I read this it was Kaguya saying 'Then just stop,' which I found extremely sensible. Then again, the others are smart too, mybe more so than the fourth-wall-breaking.
Yeah, I totally went there. And there. And there. :3
I think this conveys what I wanted to do a lot better than the previous "epic" comic. Apart from anything else (a phrase which I notice I have grossly overused), it gets the death right, i.e. Yukari, arguably the most powerful being in Gensokyo. Mima then proceeds to hang a lampshade (Warning, link leads to TVTropes. Muffin will not be held responsible for hours of time lost as a result of following it.But see also this disclaimer) on the author's intentions in doing so. (spoiler: it fails)
Oh yeah, the panel with Mokou and Kaguya is randomized. I made a new awesome update to the script-parser to get that to work without much prompting! Did it with #51, too.
I think I've just about run out of "Meanwhile ..." jokes. Well, at least as far as getting this silly goes.
So, the mirror-universe counterpart of "forgetting to actually capture panels" is turning out to be "forgetting to save the transcript before starting to work on the next panel." Ah well ...