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Touhou Nekokayou #133: A Belated Walfas Birthday II: Car Wars

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Touhou Nekokayou: Scarlet Weather Archive in Japanese Red #133

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Characters: Walfas Daily Flash Characters, Spiky-Haired Salesman, Brown-Haired Manager

So, I hadn't actually been planning on using this idea just yet, but I remembered that the 24th was KirbyM's birthday, so I figured, why not. Happy birthday yesterday, KirbyM!

Bored-Looking Character's1 solution to the bike-problem is based on a true story, which I forgot to blog about: As You Know, I've been having all kinds of problems with my bike. I had a devil of a time getting my landlady to make an exception to the "don't bring your bike inside" rules. So then in one email I actually mentioned the money the repairs were costing me, and how much money the stolen bike cost, and all of a sudden I got an email telling me I could bring it inside. The actual "good cop/bad cop, who switch places while the car salesman isn't looking" routine is not a true story as far as I know, but it was an idea my stepmom had; obviously, you wouldn't want to be that over-the-top about it, though. And yes, as I learned in a social pyschology class I took in college, that is an actual sales technique; the idea is that the customer is feeling psyched about the successful purchase, and not thinking as much about the price, so that even if they have misgivings, they'll still sign because their mind is in "I have already bought this" mode.

It says something about the Create.swf Adventures's interference with my schedule that it's only been 23 comics since KirbyM's last birthday. Mind you, that only translates into half a year, but still. Oh yeah, since Konngara got updated, Bored-Looking Character's DNA is now 3.39:Walfas-BLC:100:0:234:178:168:2:12:0:0:0:0:F19FAD

This comic's cast is composed entirely of someone else's original characters (and two car salesmen who I'm not even going to bother doing anything else with). There is something wrong here.

KirbyM's response was that this sort of thing was unlikely to happen, on the basis that getting a car in New York wasn't a very safe prospect. Oh well, I guess.

Transcript

  1. (Mumei (that is, Unnamed Character) and Ikken Taikutsu (who is Bored-Looking Character) are standing in front a car dealership called Cars With Improbable Prices. They are wearing their high school uniforms.)
    Sign: CARS with IMPROBABLE PRICES
    Unnamed Character: So you're sure this'll work?
    Bored-Looking Character: Trust me!
  2. (Inside, they are approached by a salesman. Ikken is looking a bit disgruntled.)
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: Hello, ladies, what can we do for you?
    Unnamed Character: Yesterday was my birthday and we are pooling our money to get me a car today!
    Bored-Looking Character: Hmph.
  3. Spiky-Haired Salesman: (grinning knowingly) But of course! What sort of car are you looking for?
    Unnamed Character: A BLUE ONE!
    Bored-Looking Character: (indignant disbelief) I can't believe you actually said that.
  4. Spiky-Haired Salesman: (starting to move towards the door) Well, why don't we take a look at our selection outside ...
    Unnamed Character: (turning) Hooray!
    Bored-Looking Character: Remember, this isn't just *your* money we're spending.
  5. Narration Box: One "good customer, annoyed-and-indifferent customer" routine later...
    (They are returning from outside; the salesman has some paperwork.)
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: I'll just need to speak with the manager to finalize this price, which is not 10% more than it's worth, honest!
    Bored-Looking Character: Fine. That's a little lower than what I thought was the best we could get.
    Unnamed Character: Hooray, new car!
  6. (The salesman is hanging out by a water cooler with another salesman.)
    Sign: BREAK ROOM with IMPROBABLE SIGNAGE
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: Yeah, boss, I thought the bored-looking one was gonna be a problem, but they're both just gullible little girls. I bet I could bump the price up another 20%.
    Brown-Haired Manager: Mm. Good for you for following the standard procedure of goofing off for ten minutes and then jacking up the price while they're feeling "successful purchase!" but they haven't signed anything yet.
    Footnote: *actual sales technique
  7. (The salesman returns to the floor.)
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: Okay, we got it pretty good! I just need you to sign on the bottom line here -- only thing is, I had to raise the price to --
  8. (UC looms menacingly over him.)
    Unnamed Character: YOU CALL THAT A REASONABLE PRICE!? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINISCULE MIND!?
    Bored-Looking Character: (who has transformed into "Goofily-Grinning Character") Ooh boy oh boy oh boy, can't wait to get new car, can't wait to get new carrrrr!!!
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: B'duh!?
  9. (He runs back into the break room.)
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: BOOOOOSSSS!
    Brown-Haired Manager's Thoughts: Uh-oh.
  10. (The salesman returns to the floor, only to be confronted by BLC, who is wearing Shikieiki's hat and pointing a Rod of Remorse at him.)
    Bored-Looking Character: That price is unforgivable! The 2011 model's technobabble blah blah *INFERIOR*!
    Unnamed Character: Man, I know you had a problem with the gas prices, but this is getting silly!
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: Uh ... how about I ... actually get my manager out here ...
  11. (The manager and the salesman both return to the floor; BLC and UC have cat-faces as the salesman cowers behind the manager.)
    Brown-Haired Manager: So ... about the price of this car you were looking at ...
    Spiky-Haired Salesman: whimper
    SFX: cower
  12. (The two of them leave.)
    Unnamed Character: Wow, I can't believe we got 20% off the *real* price! That was an awesome idea!
    Bored-Looking Character: Mhmm! Oh, by the way, if your landlady is *still* not letting you bring your bike inside, tell her exactly how much money it's costing you for repairs and how much the one that got stolen was worth ...
  13. (A blank panel like the end of the Daily Flashes, with an arrow pointing left in the corner.)
    Text: end
    Text: (Happy not-quite-as-belated-this-time birthday, KirbyM!)

For the record, this page's internal ID number is 1000. Whee!

1I still don't really mentally use my names for them.

All Touhou characters are © Team Shanghai Alice and/or ZUN; create.swf is ⑨ KirbyM with help from Thefre. "Sakura petals" brush in main/4koma logo was made by Kisara Girl. "Falling leaves" brush in 60-Years logo came with Photoshop.

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Formica Archonis

@Cuddlefish: Just saw the little storybook. Adorable.:)

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