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Everywhere Quest #0029: Meet the Baroness


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> Jenny: Detective - Try to understand what the f*ck just happened, with the help of at least one of your other-dimension-sisters' knowledge about magic.

Your other-dimension-sisters' consensus is that Prayer's Mania just used weird psychic shit to teleport away, in order to avoid this Baroness Furymurder's fire-superpower.

Oh. You also learn that one of your alternates just got killed trying to foil a supervillain's plans. Three other Jenny Everywheres are getting ready to avenge her and finish the job, and a couple dozen others are going to track down her friends and next-of-kin and give them the bad news. Oh well, you're already busy with this adventure.

> Ponder why everyone you meet is a weirdo.

There's not much to ponder; you're one of the Jenny Everywhere incarnations with "relatively normal" built into your whole premise. Some of your counterparts' "adventures" and crossover-cameos have simply consisted of showing up just to react to how weird everyone else is.

> "Ummm... hi?" Consider evasion tactics in case she decides to attack you for whatever reason.
> "Uh. Hi."

> Be kinda... awkward.

"Uhh ... hi." You are now awkward. But it's a coolkid kind of awkward, where you're still totally chill with all this.

She nods. "You're going to have to come with me. You're not in trouble, we just need your side of the story."

"Lead the way, I guess," you say.

She starts walking back towards the city, and pulls a smartphone out of a pocket that was hidden against her dress. "Hi, Baroness here. ... No, but Prayer's Mania was here, talking with the one in the message on that Gear. ... Yeah, she's with me, her full name's Jenny Everywhere. ... No, I think it will be quicker if I just talk to her about it, officer. ... Yeah, I'll get a report in after I know more. ... Suuuure, see ya later, man!" She hangs up.

> Ask what was up with her accent.

She grins. "My husband and I are a crime-fighting duo — the Baron and Baroness Furymurder, with our pyrokinesis superpower. We thought it'd be funny to be all hippy-like, yaknow? We stan' for loooove, peeeeace, and rippin' our enemies' throats out. I mean we don't really kill people that much, we kind of have to coordinate with the police more than other capes since our powers are inherently lethal, but, well, you know how it is."

You consider the fine tradition of murderous-sounding trash-talk you've seen in a few realities, in addition to Batman-style "striking fear in the hearts of evildoers." (Rorschach-style "striking gut-wrenching terror into everyone who realizes you're here," too, but this doesn't sound like that.) "Yeah, I think I'm starting to warm up to your routine." You also note the term "capes" as a synonym for "superheroes" even when they are not in fact caped.

She nods, still grinning. "Greg tends to ... stay in-character more than I do, fair warning," she says. "So, Jenny, 'bout this Prayer's Mania business ..."

"Right." You give her a summary of your multiple-universes deal, how you landed on the Mercenary Consortium's building, your fight with the easy-mode B-Gator, your experiences with the Jenny Nowheres, and how Prayer's Mania has been keeping watch even while you had dinner at Fin Dining. This takes up enough time that by the time you're finished, the two of you have reached the brightly lit area of the boardwalk and are almost back to the edge of the city.

She nods, frowning. "Hmm ... I kinda think I'm a li'l skeptical," she says. "I mean ... Jenny Nowhere don't seem like the type to do the villain-thing. If I didn'know better, if I thought Prayer's Mania was any good at b-ball — hell, if anyone around here was anywhere near as good as Jenny Nowhere — I'd think he was just makin' up her involvement, y'know? I mean, have you even met her?"

You shake your head. "I probably wouldn't know her if I did meet her."

The Baroness nods and pulls out her phone again. "Easy 'nuff to fix, I had to rescue her once," she says as she skims through it, then shows it to you. It's a picture of the Baroness posing with a tall woman with shoulder-length platinum blonde hair, wearing a purple basketball uniform with silver highlights. The text "BRIGHTON" is visible on the uniform's chest, indicating her city, and below that, a large number 0. The background shows the aftermath of some sort of destruction, and Jenny Nowhere has a smile on her face which looks very forced. She flicks it to another picture that shows her and a police officer from behind; the back of her jersey says "NOWHERE" and a larger 0 which, as with most basketball jerseys, fills the entire rest of her back.

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So she's somewhere on the antihero spectrum?