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Everywhere Quest #0011: Going Nowhere Fast


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> Every single goddamned time. Is this her usual MO?
> What do you know about Jenny Nowhere?

Jenny Nowhere: Jenny Everywhere's dark counterpart. You exist in every reality it is possible for you to do so, and are instantly recognizable in name, appearance, personality, and various other attributes. For this reason, you feel confident referring to yourselves in the singular (even though your alternate selves can vary wildly). There is also a woman named Jenny Nowhere in every reality it is possible for a woman named Jenny Nowhere to exist in, and they are all generally antagonistic when you and your counterparts encounter them. However, this is where the resemblance ends; no two Jenny Nowheres are exactly alike. Their appearances, personalities, abilities, and motivations tend to be as different as ... well, as different as any other two randomly-chosen villainesses throughout the multiverse, so you refer to them in the plural.

They aren't even consistent about how dangerous they are; the last Jenny Nowhere you met was actually just a clerk at a convenience store who was passive-aggressive at you when you bought a soda a few Shifts ago. (One of your alternates ran into a woman who claimed to be Jenny Nowhere, but was actually just a local reality warper with a penchant for trolling who usually went by Yukari Yakumo. You're inclined to say this counts, though.) You're pretty sure that if you ever found an explanation for why the multiverse is full of Jenny Nowheres, the next Jenny Nowhere you met would not fall under this explanation. Really, you have nothing to go on.

> Ask PM: Do we get extra lives for this, or dead on-spot when we lose?

You wait a few seconds, but he doesn't seem to be reading your mind anymore. Yeah, now that you have a chance to think, you definitely felt his mental presence when he was communicating with you, and that's gone now. Things to do: figure out the best way to kick him out the next time he tries. Also on your to-do list: don't die.

> Finish eating. Begin having 'fun'.

The Greas-y Burger is ... okay, as far as greasy burgers go. That is certainly a greasy burger you're having right now. The best you can say is that you can't remember any burgers that were specifically better than this one, at least that fell into the same grease category.

The Reefy Salad, on the other hand? This is, hands down, the best fish salad you've ever had. You can see where Slinus was coming from, and why shorty shouty over there was so insistent. In fact, you venture that if this is typical of the seafood meals here, it just might be able to melt PM's heart. He wasn't threatening you, he genuinely wanted you to —

You pause in mid-bite. No, there's pretty much no way he wasn't threatening you. But this certainly at least adds a new color to his taunting.

The waitress pauses in her rounds behind the counter, grinning as she sees your expression. "First time here, huh?" she says. "Enjoying it?"

"Oh yeah," you say, returning the grin.

> _

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>Consider hiring bodyguards for the duration of this "game." Also, assume perma-death is the rule until informed otherwise, and make a note to ask someone about PM's win-loss ratio for his "games."