Review: The Moon and the Hourai Doll by Iron Temple
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You know, when I saw the title, I thought that The Moon and the Hourai Doll by Iron Temple would be about Alice, since, y'know, she has a Hourai doll. But no, it's about Mokou (who also has references to "Hourai doll"), famed for her own personal little Vicious Cycle Of Revenge against Kaguya, who in canon acts about as aggressive as the nearest rabbit.1 And it romantically pairs Mokou with Keine, natch.
For my own sanity, rather than actually make an entire review, I'm just going to supercondense it, in a way which will tell you EXACTLY what I think about it. Yes, it's going to have spoilers.
Poem: And that's how Mt. Fuji came to be, and why it is on fire.
Mokou: I'm Wolverine, bitches, and I'm gonna get gruesomely murdered on page 1 just to show that you can't actually kill me!
Ex-Keine: Gasp! A girl with mortal wounds!
Mokou: Gasp! A girl with horns! Zzzzzz ....
The next day!
Mokou: I HUNGER!
Keine: WTF healing factor.
Interlude #1: (yes, they're numbered in the doujin itself)
Kaguya: The moon looks very pretty, Eirin, and do you know why? Because I'm completely freaking psycho.
Keine: Have some exposition about Gensokyo, which any actual Touhou fan would know about.
Mokou: That's okay, feel free to actually ignore canon, everyone else does.
Keine's Journal: The assembled masses will cry "Save us!" and I'll whisper "No." ... uh, I mean, I have to keep an eye on Mokou.
Villagers: Keine is a nice hakutaku!
Mokou: Hmm ... Hey, Keine, can I live here forever?
Keine: Um ... sure.
Mokou: YAAAAAY! Hey, look! I can do fieldwork!
Keine's Journal: So, Mokou has an unusual power, and she doesn't want to go back to the outside world. Gee, I wonder if the two facts could be connected somehow.
Mokou: I smell ... KAGUYA! Must ... destroy ...
Keine: Hey, where'd she go?
Bamboo Spears: Stab.
Mokou's Flashback: So, yeah, Kaguya rejected my dad's hand in marriage, and now I want to kill her. I suppose the reason Iron Temple made her a complete psycho in this doujin was to show me in a relatively positive light.
Ex-Keine: Nuuuu! Mokou! I was too late! I failed to protect you!
Mokou: I'm not quite dead! And now that I know where Kaguya lives, I'll just be able to wait here and kill kill KILL KILL MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Mokou's Flashback: ... um, never mind that "positive light" bit.
Wall Of Text: Wall Of Text!
Kaguya: Yay, killing time!
Narration: Punishment to crime! Poison to evil! The imperishable night lay! I need scissors! Sixty-one!!
Ex-Keine: Here, have a hair-ribbon.
Mokou: Here, have a horn-ribbon.
Narration: And now for something completely different.
One Imperishable Night extra-stage later ...
Ex-Keine: Gasp! You got killed again!
Mokou: LOL, they beat me.
Ex-Keine: Stop laughing! You're allowed to cry, you know!
Me: Oh you did NOT just tell her she should angst instead of laughing.
So, yeah. If I'd physically had this doujin in front of me, that last bit would have had me physically picking it up and throwing it across the room (Warning, link leads to TVTropes. Muffin will not be held responsible for hours of time lost as a result of following it.But see also this disclaimer). I'm putting Iron Temple on my "circles to avoid" list, unless they also manage to create something phenomenally good.
Also, I had to read this over again in order to refresh my memory. YOU ALL OWE ME FOR THIS!! :x
1Unfortunately, the nearest rabbit is Tewi.
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