Muffin's Extremely Lazy Recipes
Created: / Modified:
Always use secure-HTTP / Unsecure HTTP / Permanent Link
Or, Yes I Am A Bachelor, Why Do You Ask?
Cheese On A Bagel
From the "Exactly What It Says On The Tin" school of lazy recipes.
Ingredients
- one (1) bagel
- two handfuls of grated cheese (mozzarella for preference), OR two pre-sliced pieces of cheese
Directions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Slice bagel in half, if not pre-sliced. Put cheese on sliced bits of bagel.
- Put bagel in oven, on a cookie sheet or whatever, cheese-up.
- Bake for 9 minutes.
- Eat bagel.
Garlic Cheese Bagel
The same, but with garlic spread, like you can get at local grocery store/bakery.
Pizzabagel
Two great tastes that taste great together!
Ingredients
- one (1) bagel
- two handfuls of grated cheese (possibly the same used for cheesebagel), OR two pre-sliced pieces of cheese
- tomato sauce
- other toppings you'd use for pizza, but in smaller quantities.
Directions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Slice bagel in half, if not pre-sliced. Put tomato sauce, cheese, and toppings on sliced bits of bagel, in that order.
- Put pizzabagel in oven on cookie sheet. Bake for 12 minutes and 34 seconds.
- Eat pizzabagel.
Note: Pizzabagel, Cheese On A Bagel, and Garlic Bagel may be combined in any manner you please.
Apple Goast
goast (gōst) n. 1. a dessert made with fruit (or melons/strawberries), cinnamon, and honey, heated in a microwave for periods of time in which the digits are all the same, and made using other ingredients consisting of "whatever was laying around at the time." 2. Any extremely-makeshift fruit dessert.1
All amounts given below are approximate.
Ingredients
- 1 apple
- 1/8 cup of raisins, or just a handful
- Sort of 1/8 cup-ish of oatmeal
- 1 tablespoon (or however much) honey
- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, or thereabouts
Directions
- Chop apple to bits. Or, like, y'know, cut it into eighths, then cut out the core, then cut the eighths into thirds. So ... uh ... 24ths.
- Put all ingredients into a microwave-safe bowl in decreasing order of size of individual components (i.e. flakes of oatmeal are smaller than raisins, grains of ground cinnamon are smaller than apple-chunks), with liquids going in last in decreasing order of viscosity.
- Microwave for 2 minutes and 22 seconds.
- Stir it around a bit with a fork, then microwave it another 1 minute and 11 seconds.
- Nom on it with the same fork!
- — AUGH! Let it cool down a bit first!!
- Hmm ... it's not all that "baked," I guess ...
- I dunno, I've never figured out good times~
Grilled Cheese Sandwitch Without The Grilling
Guaranteed to be mildly "What?" whenever you describe it!
Ingredients
- 1 Slice Of Cheese
- 2 slices of bread
- 1 toaster
- 1 microwave oven
Directions
- Toast the bread to the preferred level of toastery.
- Put the cheese between the slices of bread and press together.
- Microwave for 10-15 seconds.
Grilled Cheese Sandwich || Garlic Cheese Bagel
Named for the alchemy system from Homestuck, which enables the combining of two objects, where a "&&" combination tends to result in an object with characteristics of both, and "||" results in the function of one and the form of the other. This one has the form of a grilled cheese sandwich, but the function of a garlic cheese bagel.
Ingredients
- 2 slices of bread
- garlic spread
- 1 handful of grated cheese
Directions
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
- Spread the garlic spread on one side of each of the two slices of bread.
- Put the cheese between the two slices (garlic side in), sandwich-style.
- Bake the sandwich on a cookie sheet for about 14 minutes, turning it over every 3 and a half minutes.
1See, I used to be on the staff of a MUD in which staff members often use names taking the form of "<description> <foodstuff>," and Infected Mushroom and Vampiric Strudel were pondering zombie pastries. I blurted out "Zombie goasts?" and then decided I'd have to figure out what a "goast" was in context.
Previous: Why You Shouldn't Use Wikia: a public service announcement
Next: For no reason, here's a quick primer on Homestuck troll relationships
Back to Miscellaneous
Back to Main Page
16 Comments (auto-closed)
Myrrh
Hm.. Mum and Dad are out, i have to care for myself in terms of food..
Muffin, your Bagel made my day! :3
Zemyla
I love incredibly lazy recipes. I have several recipes involving ramen (namely, "Add meat and/or vegetables to ramen, cook") and a few good bean recipes ("Add meat and/or vegetables to beans, cook"). And some good sandwiches ("Add meat and/or cheese to bread, cook").
...I think my recipes are all similar.
Silverkun
Me: "Wait, doesn't Onna mean Woman? Cheese Woman Bagel? I just don't get it, where'd the name for Cheese Onna Bagel-
...Ohhhh... I get it now."
Dizzy H. Slightly Voided
The thing is, notwithstanding the dubious nature of "goast" as a word, these names are all in English. ;P
Hiding Fox
Cheese Onna Bagel plus a slice of tomato and some bacon, now that's good.
Might try that Apple Goast recipe.
Khiash
re: garlic bagel
Would garlic powder mixed with butter (dunno how you'd mix it) work instead of the garlic spread?
Dizzy H. Slightly Voided
I have no idea how any of the already-put-together ingredients actually work. But probably not.
Houraiguy
Somehow, I know that saying "it's not a grilled cheese sandwich if it's not grilled" isn't going to work out so well. But it's heresy to not-grill the Cheese Sandwich! Alas, the Cheese shall be as wrathful unto (forgive me, but I haven't actually read the Bible) you as it was unto [insert Biblical character]! We must Appease the Cheese! These are grim tidings! More short statements to add exclamation marks to! More! We must have more! The Cheesepocalypse is upon us!
(I'm sorry, I couldn't stop the ridiculosity from escaping)
Dizzy H. Slightly Voided
Apple Goast may not be sufficiently lazy for the purpose of this recipe-list, I have determined; it is merely very makeshift. :<
CapedLuigisYoshi
...Wait, there are actually things called goasts?